


Sleds and Hind Ends

by completelyhopeless



Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, clint/natasha only there if you squint and are maybe delirious, two circus birds universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 19:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha gets caught in the middle when the boys decide to argue over sledding on Captain America's shield.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleds and Hind Ends

**Author's Note:**

> So there was this prompt: Marvel Cinematic Universe, any, sledding is good, sledding on Cap's shield is waaaay better
> 
> And this is not really a fill for that, but with my head hurting this much, my humor is skewed, so crack fic it is.

* * *

“Not possible.”

“Completely possible.”

Dick snorted. “You couldn't even _sit_ on it, let alone sled on it.”

Clint shook his head. “Just because some of us don't have perfect asses—”

“It's genetic, supposedly, and far more trouble than it's worth—”

“Speaking of asses,” Natasha began, arms folded over her chest and disapproval clearly visible in her expression. “You—”

“He's the one that shot Batman in his.”

“I did not,” Clint objected. “If I had, there would have been an arrow sticking out, and there wasn't. That was you. That was _all_ you.”

“Yeah, and if it was so obvious that it wasn't you, then why didn't Bruce just punish me back then? He couldn't prove it was me, which means your theory is wrong and just because the arrow didn't stick doesn't mean it wasn't you.”

Natasha shook her head. She was losing patience with both of them. “I meant that you are both—”

“Technically, I'm not,” Dick said. “I get the other insult. You know, the one that goes with my name?”

“She's gonna kill both of us,” Clint said, his voice not really a whisper.

“Not if we steal the shield and go sledding. Right, Natasha?”

“You couldn't fit on it, remember?”

“But you could,” Clint said, grinning. “You're just the right size, and we need to test this theory. It's in the name of science. That works, doesn't it?”

“Maybe if you'd suggested that to Babs, but we need something Natasha can hurt with the sled if we're trying to bribe her.”

“Good point. Feel like taking down a H.Y.D.R.A. base in the snow covered mountains, Tasha?”

Silence and a stony look.

“Somehow, Clint, I don't think that's a yes.”


End file.
